In all honesty, I am a pessimist who wishes she was an optimist, but knows that will never happen. You see, I live in the absurd world where, when things go bad, they just don’t go bad. They go to worst-case scenario, immediately.
Take for instance, my husband’s work trip to Pittsburgh for two weeks. What could go wrong? No hotel reservation? Car breaking down? I’ll tell you want can happen. My husband hits a big, black, juvenile bear. Yes, I said B–E–A–R. He was fine, the bear not so much.
Things that I’m thankful for in 2011:
- Movie star Ryan Reynolds and his abs
- The combination of chocolate and peanut butter. Whoever thought of this is a genius.
- Having a job because there are many people without one.
- World of Warcraft. My husband is a nerd, but he can be a nerd without bothering me.
- I guess, my husband. No really…he’s my rock.
- Health insurance because there are many families that go without.
- Chewing gum. A stress eater’s silly salvation.
- Facebook. How else could I keep up with the lives of my 500 closest friends and family?
- Best Friends.
- Richard Simmons
- Profanity. Sometimes “Dang” just doesn’t get the emotional job done.
- My friends who are stay-at-home moms because they do what I can’t and often go without thanks for a job well done.
- My friends who are working moms because I am one and I know how demanding it is physically and emotionally.
- Lewis Black because he’s me only male and famous — of course.
- My son who makes my life have meaning.
- Baggy sweatshirts and sweatpants
- Temper tantrums. The best birth control for high school students is seeing your child have a complete and total meltdown while trying to get the child into the car as they are waiting for the bus outside of your house. Doing my community service.
- Preschool teachers, daycare providers and teachers who don’t get paid enough to deal with my child’s issues everyday. Thanks for helping me to raise a well rounded child.
- Magazines in doctors’ offices
- My parents who I thank for all of my quarks and idiosyncrasies. There is a reason why the general public thinks I’m weird. And I like it.
- Duct tape
- Birthday, Christmas, greeting cards. It’s heartwarming to know that I’m worth 5 minutes and 44 cents of someone’s time and money.
- Steve Jobs
- Reality TV because these people have serious issues that make mine look mundane.
- Limp Bizkit because when you have a bad day, there is nothing better than the unedited version of “Break Stuff” (insert your favorite bad day song here)
- Toothpaste and deodorant makes life less stinky.
- McDonald’s happy meals. It’s nice to pretend you’re a kid sometimes.
- Co-workers who drive me crazy and make me laugh all at the same time.
What are you thankful for?