This week she outlines a plan to keep herself from falling off the wagon.
I decided that this week I would just write one big message, instead of writing a number of little ones. There really isn’t too much going on. I’m just slowly trying to work my way back up to the level I was before — I am not even close!
This week, I really want to talk about the mental journey one must go through when they decide they have had enough of being severely overweight. I have mentioned in my previous messages that I didn’t get to be the weight I am by loving myself.
I am still trying to figure out what makes me want to eat fattening food, even when I am happy with the healthy food I am eating and finding satisfying. I am slowly discovering my triggers. And, well, I have a lot of them.
Evidently, almost everything that happens triggers me to eat — looking in the mirror, for one, though I shouldn’t really find this surprising). I really thought that I was well on my way to a healthier way of living. I thought that by recognizing my triggers, I could resist them. It was a nice thought, and it worked for awhile, but this last couple of weeks have been very bad for me.
I am back to tasting and taking bites of evil things, and I am doing it a lot. I am starting to feel myself justifying all the little bites of things that I shouldn’t be eating, and I need to stop.
Mentally I am really falling out of the game, and I am trying to formulate a plan to get myself back in it. I need to recommit myself, and I need to do it now, before it gets worse. I am addicted to food, and I am falling off the wagon, head first.
So here is my plan:
- Start a food journal again, and write every single thing I am eating
- Commit to working out while at the beach next week
- Journal and write down my thoughts every day
- Sit for at least 15 minutes each day and think/do nothing (this is my attempt to center myself)
I will let you know how it is going. Cross your fingers for me.
Read more from the Smart Health Challenge here.