Everyone tells you that you’re supposed to have this take-your-breath-away, cry-your-eyes-out moment when you find your wedding gown.
And everyone says you’re supposed to have the same reaction when you put on your gown for the first time.
So, this leaves me asking the question: What’s wrong with me?
Weddings come with an unprecedented amount of expectations. From what your reception should be like to how you should feel during each moment of the planning process, and TV shows seem to perpetuate these expectations. Even my reaction to being proposed to was completely inappropriate: I began laughing so hard I couldn’t speak. Who does that?
The past week I’ve been terrified that I wouldn’t like my dress as much as I did when I ordered it. What if I changed my mind? What if I was just feeling pressured to order something? What if I get it in my size and it fits all wrong? These are all valid concerns considering this dress cost more than anything I own besides my car.
I picked up my dress Friday with my friend co-worker Kate, and let me set the stage for you. We arrive at Alfredo Angelo, and I put my name in with the lady at the sales counter. While waiting a few minutes (I’ve been waiting four months! Just let me see it!), I see another lady trying on the same exact dress.
From what Kate says, she can see the panic unfolding in my head. This woman, to be kind, did not have the body for this dress and it looked less than flattering on her. The look of utter horror must have spread across my face because Kate immediately started to tell me that that is NOT how it looks on me and that everything is going to be OK.
“Don’t worry. It looks so much better on you. Your’s is going to look perfect.”
After putting my dress on and standing in front of the mirror for a while, I still didn’t have that “bride” feeling. At this point, whether I changed my mind or not, the dress was mine — for better or for worse. It just looked like me, in a white dress. Which makes me wonder, what does it take to feel like a bride?
I haven’t had that pivotal moment, yet. I think for me, it’s more about the whole picture, not just the parts and pieces. Once I get the shoes, the jewelry and the veil and I’m walking down the aisle with everything decorated and in place, I’ll feel special. I’m almost afraid of that moment not hitting me until the day of my wedding and then becoming completely overwhelmed with emotion.
In a way, it’s still hard to believe I’m the one getting married. It’s one of those things that will happen some day in the future, when I grow up. You’d think at 31, it’d be about time, but in my mind, I just graduated college.
After reading some wedding bulletin boards on weddingbee.com, I realized I’m not the only one. It’s not a feeling you can force, but I feel like I’m in the minority by not getting caught up in the whirlwind of being a bride.
I go back to have alterations done in July, which will also make a difference in how the dress fits and how I see myself in it. I think this time I’ll wear my contacts and do my make-up and hair … maybe get a little color on my pasty-white winter skin. I still can’t wait to see what it all looks like once I get my braces off for the wedding!